You’re at a dinner party with several others, sipping wine and enjoying the hors d’oeuvres as the host prepares the meal, when her cat walks into the room. You glance at the cat and notice everyone else staring at ((her), as it turns out). They’re all smiling. You take another sip, reach for an hors d’oeuvres and try to return to your chat with your nearest neighbour but he’s still trying to engage with the cat.
Who now approaches you and jumps intoyour lap. You’re startled, not sure what to do. Not much of a cat person and never have been you tentatively lay your hand on her back and give a gentle stroke. She settles in your lap as everyone watches with delighted envy.
From the cat’s perspective, here’s what happened. She walks into the room and all the people there, except one, are being rudely aggressive, staring at her.  This is threatening. They’re trying to show their dominance by staring her down and she’s intimidated. There’s one human there though who is not rude or aggressive so she goes to her. Jumps into her lap and finds the easy response comforting so she settles in, appreciating this more thoughtful, less threatening person.
Staring Is Aggressive & Rude
What’s this all about? When two unfamiliar cats encounter one another they express assertiveness and even aggression by staring the other down. The one who doesn’t look away is the more dominant in this situation. In a non-aggressive situation  you’ll see two cats, facing each other, looking at one another then looking away, then back again and blinking when they look at the other or keeping their eyes half closed. Cat behaviorists advise us to behave similarly when dealing with unfamiliar cats – avert our eyes at times or blink to communicate our non-aggressive intentions.
In non-aggressive situations other body language will also be expressing the same, non-threatening intent. The whiskers will be relaxed and the ears pointed forward and leaning slightly back and the tail either upright or horizontally pointing back, also relaxed. And of course a great deal more is communicated through several other aspects of body language. Here is an excellent source of information on cat body language.
As the host enters and announces dinner you gently lift the cat from your lap, curiously reluctant to let her go. That was nice, you think. Hmm, you wonder, Should I..?
Â
The above story was derived from information found here.
